i've spent the last two years hoping and planning to move to italy. the last three months were especially intense and stressful, trying my best to keep up with daily responsibilities and also caring for my future life on another continent. i let people down, i was spread thin, i had very little time for friends, i forsook my clients, i deserted my family: i lost my mind. i never thought i'd see an end to the plethora of to-do items. desperately chipping away at the tasks at hand, excluding moments of excitement when i was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, strangely enough, i rarely found myself delighted and thrilled at the prospect of finally being in italy--every day in those last months was a day to get a job (or one thousand jobs) done. i reassured myself that reality of finally living here would be much better than the procrastination-inducing daydreams could ever be.
finally, i've arrived. i'm here. when i look around, my vision's all a dream--every last glance is unreal, yet tangible and even malleable. i wake up every morning to the possibility my roman day holds because my to-do list is empty. i cherish the moments when i'm thinking, "now what?"-- the kind of moments you appreciate when it takes such determination, turmoil, and strife to get you where you know you belong. what a privilege to be able to ask such a question. certamente.
Nov 3, 2009
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